“I was a failure at everything I tried. I worked as a box boy at a supermarket and got fired. Then my dad got me a job at Standard Oil—fired again.”
—Actor/director Robert Redford
Success magazine
Besides using some downtime during the coronavirus global pandemic to finish my book Screenwriting with Brass Knuckles, one of the things I’ve been doing is digitizing old files of photos, papers, and the like. Brings back lots of memories.
Today’s post is kind of a photo journey that I hope helps some of you who are early in your journey. Or those of you who’ve metaphorically seen your dreams crash and burn—or at least hit some kind of wall in your life. (This year could be dubbed ”Dream Crusher” for many. This Wall St. Journal article today about more cuts at Warner Brothers shows just some of the tens of thousands of media jobs cut due to fallout from the pandemic. )
Looking back it seems that every ten years I hit some kind of wall in my life. As I’ve gotten older I’ve gained a perspective that I’ll get through it eventually. (“Just keep swimming.”) As I touched on earlier this week, I hit my first real life-changing wall my second year of college when I dislocated my shoulder as a walk-on football player at the University of Miami.
After playing organized football for ten years it was my first real injury. I had surgery in the fall of 1981. Fortunately, I was prepared to pivot. Former boxing champ Mike Tyson once said everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Thankfully I was already working on my next plan.
In the fall of 1981 I was taking my first film class with Prof. Capewell. I have a distinct memory of shooting my first 8mm film that semester with my left arm in a sling following surgery. I filmed a POV shot in a go-cart holding the camera in my right hand and steering with my knees.
The next semester I loaded up on classes on film editing, screenwriting, photography, and Tv production. With football out of the picture I also decided to head out to Los Angeles to finish my film education. I chose Columbia College Hollywood because they took my community college and Miami credits letting me finish my BA in a year and a half. Plus the classes were at night giving me an chance to seek daytime opportunities in the business. (And we had some professors that also taught at USC and UCLA.)
The truth is there are plenty of film and Tv opportunities for those starting out—if you’re willing to work for free. I was an unpaid intern on a cable TV show called Alive and Well. It was exciting at first, but the early call time and long commute from Burbank to Marina del Rey, and the long days working and school at night, got old quickly. (And did I mention that it was unpaid?)
Seeking to get a paid job in the business I got a driver job with Broadcast Equipment Rental Company (BERC) in Hollywood and that was my first opportunity to get on various film and TV studio lots. A highlight was when a security guard delighted in showing me the set of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson at NBC. (It was a lot smaller than I expected.)
Deciding I needed to be doing something more creative, I used my sports background to land a job at Yary Photography where I drove around shooting photos of high school, college, and professional teams. Looking back the real fringe benefit of that job was getting paid to drive all over Southern California for a couple of years. From Big Bear to Rancho Palos Verde, and from San Louis Obispo to San Clemente. From a gritty area in Compton, to a ritzy golf course in Brentwood, to being on the field at the Rose Bowl, I got an incredible overview few get to see first hand.
I enjoyed being around sports teams, working with some great people, learning a lot from other photographers, and worked my way up from freelancer to director of the photography department.
And at the same time I was making and studying films in school: Shooting and editing footage, working on budgets, leading crews, casting and directing actors, and writing scripts. (One of my first attempts at screenwriting was, believe it or not, about a walk-on football player.)
I also took acting classes and weekend filmmaking workshops at AFI and UCLA. Lost a girlfriend along the way, which is understandable because my normal days were 12-16 hour days. But I later helped a young lady moving into my apartment building—next month we’ll celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary.
My next job after the sports photography gig was as a 16mm camera operator and editor for a group in Burbank. I won’t bore you with all the details, but it’s been an adventure.
But it was hitting that wall back in 1981 that was a key turning point in my life. If my football dream would have continued as a Hollywood movie I would have returned to Miami in the fall of 1982 which had the greatest collection of quarterbacks in the history of college football (Jim Kelly, Bernie Kosar, Vinny Testaverde), and in 1983 been on the team that won Miami’s first national championship.
Instead, I may of had the shortest “career” of any player who ever wore a Hurricane uniform in a game. (I dressed out for one JV game and played exactly zero plays.) My take two dream would have been my script based on that experience would have been made into a movie. Yeah, that didn’t happen either. But years later the story about another walk-on, Rudy (1993)—the story of Rudy Ruettiger— got made and found great success. A movie the Bleacher Report named the #2 (behind Rocky) most inspirational sports movie of all-time.
So what do you do after your dreams crash and burn? You pick up the pieces and you move on. That’s pretty much the basis for many great movies. It’s why Kenneth Burke said, “Stories are equipment for living.”
I’m a person of faith so I think stories and movies can only take you so far in finding purpose, meaning, and fulfillment in life. But they’re great at pointing the way.
“The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king.”
Hamlet by Shakespeare
If it helps, most of the foundation of my entire creative career was formed in years after hitting the wall in Miami. And for a different perspective, read the recent Sports Illustrated article about how 5 of the 12 linebackers from the 1989 USC football sadly died before age 50. Sometimes living the dream brings its own set of problems. As Hollywood celebrities have been proving for decades.
P.S. Yary Photo was founded by Wayne and Ron Yary who both played football at USC. Ron went on to play 14 seasons with the Minnesota Vikings and is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. His son Jack Yary is a freshman tight end this year at the University of Washington.
Related post:
The Benefits of Failure (From a Former Struggling Writer Now Worth Over $1 Billion)