Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘smoking’

Sad and Sweet Moments

On Sunday I went to a sunrise Easter service that was held in a cemetery.  Over the years I’ve been to big churches and little chapels. I’ve been to weddings, funerals, and church services across a wide range of denominations. (I’ve even been to a foot washing service.) But a church service in a cemetery—that was a first.

After the service I learned about the gut-wrenching news about the bombings in Sri Lanka where more than 300 people were killed in churches and hotels. Then I drove to visit my mom who was put on hospice a few days ago. An unusual morning to be faced with life and death issues.

But those are times that are good for your soul.  Moments that force you to pause and ponder life’s great mysteries.

I’ve never seen the dying process up-close so it’s been a sad yet sweet time. My mom has late stages COPD so this has been a long and slow landing. After seeing her struggle and be anxious for the past month in the hospital and other medical faculties it’s actually nice to see her in a calm place.

I’m not 100% sure she knows I’m there when I visit, but her eyes do open wide occasionally for a moment or two when I talk to her. This morning she wan’t able to swallow a few drops of water the nurse gave her from a syringe, meaning she’s most likely in her closing days.

My mom likes acoustical music and the hymn “How Great Thou Art” so I searched YouTube this morning and found this version by Lauren Daigle. I played it from my phone with one EarPod in my mom’s ear and one in mine. That won’t be a moment I forget anytime soon.

When the song was over I glanced at a TV in the background that had a report of a young girl who died in a church on Easter Sunday in Sri Lanka. That’s the first time I’ve cried in a long time.

P.S. My mom starting smoking cigarettes as a teenager in the fifties and continued until she was 80 years old when she started using oxygen to assist her breathing. COPD is a horrible way to die because it’s slowly taking your breath away. Recently I heard separate interviews with screenwriters Paul Schrader and Joe Eszterhas who I assume where smokers because they have signs of COPD in slight gasping for breaths as they speak. That’s what I first noticed in my mom seven years ago. Stephen King once said something like Smoking in great for the synapses—the problem is it’s killing you at the same time.

Scott W. Smith

 

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: